The royal court of Sobu Institution
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: A play brought to you by Justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth Incorporated
1. Chapter 1

A play brought to you by the Service Club of Sobu High School.

Characters:

Jachiman Jiquigalla: the protagonist of the play. A high school introvert who cherishes solitude. Male figure of the Service Club

Yuhi Yuhigajama: the airhead member of the Service Club whomst hangs out with the normalites

Yuquino Yukinochita: the original member and de-facto leader of the Service Club. Her personality is cold as ice

Totesuca Sahica: Fair maiden with a surprise underneath

Zahimocuza Yochiterro: Fat loser who believes he hold greater power than what he actually possesses (which is none)

Jallama Jallato: a royal prince who has all his subordinates on his palm


	2. Act 1 Scene 1

**Jachiman:**

In sooth I know not why I am so sad

A pestilent air of melancholy

Doth hang o'er me for three nights past

Alas, it lies not in me to unearth its root

For I may very well put the sky upon my mercy

'Fore I could read the stars to locate

The cause of mine lingering despondence

 **Yuhi:**

Methink the common cold hadst plagued thee;

'Twas a widespread myth: the sickness shows itself

In certain symptoms which doth bear ambiguity

To the cause, one of them being melancholy.

'Twas thought that the Great Battle of Luxomy

Lent credence to the popular belief,

Whence the soldiers and generals perished

In the outbreak of the common cold.

'Twas rumored that the infantry

Suffered a sudden dearth of devotion

To both the war and the kingdom alike

Some twenty generals abandoned their posts

And fled for the wilderness days prior to

The outbreak that killed the rest of their brethren

 **Yuquino:**

Fie, Yuhi!

Tis but a mere trickery upon the mind

Fairy tales designed to feed on mere

Coincidences and speculations

Historical greats doth make discoveries

On the basis of scientific reasoning

Not some midwives' tales in which great figures

The likes of Socrates, Archimedes

Or the physicians of Arabia

Would be wont to jest upon

 **Yuhi:**

What, then, doth thou propose to be the cause?

 **Yuquino:**

Let me study his complexion

A wise priest whom I chancely encountered

In my pilgrimage to the holy land

Years ago, doth impart his knowledge on

The subject of physiognomy, the

Studying of faces— lines and creases

Apertures, ambience, and various characteristics

Which compound to give clue to one's estate.

Tis a delicate process, tis requires

Close scrutiny that may bear discomfort

Now, Hachiman, I need thy attention

Do not make any movements of sort

That may hinder mine analysis of

The astronomy within thy visage.

 **Jachiman:**

Hark! Wilt thou cease beating about the bush?

Alas, all these chatters hath worsened my

Melancholy. Methink it wouldst not be long

Ere it compels me to defenestrate meself.

 **Yuquino:**

Thou hast the patience of a Spanish bull

Kept captive in a cage adorned with red

Let me commence this study:

Thou hast undead eyes, intimidating

And cold, almost devoid of soul or being—

Thine gaze alone could starve to death a ginger

Thy cheeks doth bear a sickly pallor

Thy nose hangs crooked like tree branches

Thy lips, they are but thin creases, much unlike

The robust shade of red one would expect

From a healthy man free from worldly concerns

Methink the source of thy melancholy

Boils down to a simple explanation

That thou art in the season of romance

And the prospects of finding a fair maiden

Or the hopelessness in such noble a pursuit

Hath caused thee much grief

 **Yuhi:**

Oh, bawdy!

Tis a simple problem which doth begets

A simple solution:

There is an esteemed feast parlor nearby

That Jachiman can take Yuquino to

Methink thy companionship could purge him

Of his grief-inducing lonesomeness

 **Yuquino:**

Fie, yuhi!

Tis a shameful hogwash of

Unimaginable magnitude

I would deign to surrender my riches, nay

Conscript myself into an army of men

Nay, maybe even relinquish my life

For all misfortunes are but

Preferable alternatives to what thou hadst proposed.

 **Jachiman:**

O foolish wenches!

They say the most cursed among witches

Doth not lay waste upon a man's estate

Directly, rather, to crush his esteem

At his lowest and most vulnerable.

Fie upon my good nature that has thus

Placed undeserving trust upon you whores

To confide in you hoping for a cure

To raise my spirit up, not have it burnt

To ashes in Hephaestus' cauldron

O naivete!

Tis no use to be in the company of vixens—

I am to depart for the courtyard.

Fare ye well, dishonorable widows.

[exuent with haste]

 **Yuhi:**

There doth bear beastly impulse in his speech

Come hither, lest he resorts to Bleach

[exuent all]


End file.
